It is official, after years and years of waiting I can now legally walk into a bar by myself. No popcorn machine will be safe ever again. As per usual with anything in my life, I am going to milk this for an article. "What if I had one wish for Wisconsin sports on my birthday?" I have thought long and hard about this; what sport should I choose? Is wishing for a Championship too easy? Will Ryan Braun get sick of me when he legally has to adopt me as his child? Without further ado, I'll run through some potential wishes I could make, and why.
People Forget Badgers Basketball Exists
The best thing that can happen in a Badger season is when everyone just forgets about us. We should not be in the news unless Sportscenter is highlighting a 39-41 upset over a 17 seed. With news coming out that Kobe King is transferring out, Brad Davison punching an Iowa player in the nuts costing us a game we desperately needed, and throngs of people calling for Greg Gard's head, Wisconsin has failed to keep its low profile. So, my birthday wish is just for everyone to forget- wipe your brains free of the Red and White. Eventually down the road, if miracles come true, you might see a feisty 14 seed Badger team make it to the round of 32, lose, and then fade into that sweet sweet oblivion of the offseason.
The Bucks Hold Firm
The All-Star game is coming up for the NBA, which means that so is the Trade Deadline. This entire month will see bored college kids and cubicle workers alike go to the Oasis of Knowledge that is the ESPN Trade Machine. Where else could you find out that for the small price of Dragan Bender, Pat, and Thanasis the Bucks could increase their wins by one by grabbing Frank Kaminsky from Pheonix? I cannot tell you how many hours I have lost to this beautiful array of coding. However, this year is truly the first I can remember where I don't want anything to happen. Last year I was a Mirotic defender, and when we got him I was sure we just sealed our Championship. That did not happen. This year the Bucks having a league best 41-6 record, The best NET rating ever, the best point differential ever, and Giannis has the highest PER in a season ever. I would say those are pretty good signs that we should just not do anything. There is no reason to mess up this Chemistry as we did with Mirotic. We are the best team in the NBA, and no matter what anyone else does at the trade deadline, we will still be the best NBA team after it.
MLB Goes back on their dumb rule changes
I hate the minimum batters faced rule so much. It is dumb, won't draw any new audience, and puts specialty pitchers out of jobs. Lefty-Righty matchups are going to have to include the next two guys and almost completely ruins the concept. Does it heavily affect the Brewers? You betcha it does. Now there is also talk about a National League DH, I have a long hatred of that rule which seems to surface each year. We will deep dive into that in a later article. I hate change, keep baseball the same.
Sidenote: Nothing brings out the inner 70-year-old like baseball. My perfect baseball experience is sitting outside on a porch in a rocking chair, listening to the radio, drinking a nice aged scotch, smoking a cigar, and yelling at those youths who keep talking about their "Fork Knifes" video gaming and always texting on their chapsnaps.
Sam Dekker Becomes the Wisconsin Badgers Head Coach
This would be the absolute best thing to happen to Wisconsin ever. Now, this would be a long wish, because Dekker still can play and I'm sure will get an NBA contract next year. My boy is killing it in Russia. He is Wisconsin's favorite son, he constantly talks about every sport and athlete, he loves the Brewers, and he goes to Timber Rattler games all the time in the summer. He also hosts basketball camps in the summer for young ballers. He would be perfect, and just how cool would it be to see him in Madison just towering over everyone on the team. I'm sure he could get Showalter and Brust to be his assistants too, and Kaminsky seems like he could be convinced as well. Really I just want to relive the Badger "glory days" for the rest of my life. As for recruiting, we would have NBA players on staff, so they could prep them for the league unlike any Wisconsin coach before. Honorable mention of Jon Leuer being the color guy for Wisconsin broadcasts.
I would write more wishes, I'm full of good ideas, but honestly, I can't stop thinking about how perfect Dekker as a coach would be. It will be the only thing I think about all day. Sam, please let this birthday wish come true.
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