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MAMAS, DON'T LET YOUR BABIES GROW UP TO BE BADGERS FANS

Updated: Apr 25, 2023

As soon as we started this blog, I knew what I wanted to write. For years and years, I have been complaining about how the Wisconsin Badgers have broken me as a sports fan. From disappointment in the NCAA Tournament to inexplicably losing to a bad team in football to take us out of any meaningful playoff game, I have suffered. In honor of the badgers losing their fourth Rose Bowl in my lifetime, I have decided to go through and force myself to relive these past ten years of Wisconsin sports. In this first installation of my Encyclopedia of Sadness, I will be going through Wisconsin football from 2010 -2019 and trying to stir up the memories of those who suffered with me. These are ranked from the least heartbreaking to most heartbreaking years, with similar years grouped together. So sit back, crack a beer, ok now get another beer, you know what, just pour the whole six pack in the largest cup you have. You're going to need it.

2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, and 2018 Wisconsin Football Team

High preseason hopes leads to great win over ranked team leads to inexplicable collapse against a bad team leads to tailspin of losing games we should win leads to meaningless bowl game win leads to good recruiting class leads to high preseason hopes leads to....

2013 - Opening day against Massachusetts, and also Gary Anderson's first game as the Badger's Head Coach, the Badgers crush the Minutemen 45-0. The next game against the Arizona State Sun Devils is one of the most confusing ends of a game I can remember seeing. Joel Stave keels the ball down 2 with 18 seconds left to kill the clock down before a game-winning field goal try. He quickly sets the ball down so the official can spot the ball. Sun Devil Anthony Jones dives on the ball saying that Stave's knee never hit the ground. Line official signaled the knee was down, but the other refs say they did not see the signal. The clock keeps rolling while arguing ensues. Wisconsin tries to line up but an official says they have to wait until finally, he let them set up with 2 seconds left on the clock. Stave tries to spike the ball as quick as he can, but the clock runs out. Badgers lose by two. The Pac-12 reprimanded the official the following week saying they did not react with appropriate urgency. Two weeks later Wisconsin faces No. 3 Ohio State Down 7 with 1:29 left in the fourth, Joel Stave leads an amazingly Badgers 4 and out. Ohio State wins 31-24. (Jared Abbrederis had 207 receiving yards). Badgers pull out 6 straight wins, and then lose to Penn State in the last game of the season 24-31. They finish 9-4.

Meaningless Bowl Game: Capital One Bowl Game vs #8 South Carolina. Badgers lose (24-34)

Notable Players: (Jared Abbrederis, Melvin Gordan, Chris Borland, James White)

2014 - Opening Day loss to No. 14 LSU 24 - 28 shows that Wisconsin could hang with good teams (LSU finished that season with 5 loses, three of which came against unranked teams so, not really)

. After three butt-whoopings of unranked teams, Wisconsin entered Big 10 play at No. 17 and some high expectations. Rather than letting those expectations climb, the Badgers decided to lose their first conference game to unranked Northwestern (The Wildcats went 5-7 on the year). With expectations blown away, Wisconsin decided that one disappointment was not enough and won 7 straight games to make it to the Big 10 Championship. We don't talk about what happened (Badgers lost 0-59 to Ohio State). Ohio State goes on to win the first College Football Playoffs.

Meaningless Bowl Game: Outback Bowl vs Auburn. Wisconsin wins 34-31 in OT

Notable players: (Melvin Gordon (This was the year of the 408 yards on 25 carries Nebraska game), Derek Watt, Joel Stave, D'Cota Dixon, James White)

2015 - Opening Day loss to No. 3 Bama 17 - 35 (Alabama goes on to beat Clemson and win the second College Football Playoffs). Three nonconference demolitions later, Badgers are ranked 19 going into conference play. Badgers lose their first Conference game to unranked Iowa. Badgers string together 5 wins in a row, then lose to No. 19 Northwestern. Turns out Iowa was good and went 8-0 in conference to make the Big 10 Championship against Michigan State

Meaningless Bowl Game: Holiday Bowl vs USC. Wisconsin wins 23-21

Notable players: (Vince Biegle, Corey Clement, Dare Ogunbowale, Joel Stave, TJ Watt)

2016 - Opening Day WIN vs No. 5 LSU (At Lambeau) 16-14 (A team feauturing Tre'Davious White, Leonard Fournette, and Derrius Guice). Bring on those high hopes. In a stunning move the Badgers win their fist conference game against No. 8 Michigan State They then drop to in a row to No. 4 Michigan and then No. 2 Ohio State (OT). The East was abosolutly stacked that year, ending with 3 top ten ranked teams (No. 7 Penn State, No. 6 Ohio State, and No. 10 Michigan). Meanwhile Wisconsin cruised to a Big 10 Championship due to the fact no one else in the West besides Madison were even ranked by the end of the year. Wisconsin loses the Big 10 Championship to Penn State 31-38 (Saquon Barkley, Miles Sanders, and Trace McSorley).

Meaningless Bowl Game: Cotton Bowl vs No. 12 Western Michigan (PJ Fleck loses to Wisconsin, ruining his perfect season, "Mr. Row the Boat" accepts Minnesota job following this loss to Wisconsin, also Corey Davis was on that team, also MACtion) . Wisconsin wins 24-16

Notable Players: (Corey Clement, Alex Hornibrook, Bart Houston, Troy Fumagalli)

2018 - My sophomore year at Madison, also the year where I got bad enough grades that I was no longer able to attend Madison. Mirroring me, the Badgers decided that they would have their worst season since 2012 aka the last year of Brett Bielema. Staring off ranked at No. 4 in the preseason poll, the Badgers lost to unranked BYU, then three weeks later to No. 12 Michigan, then two weeks later to unranked Northwestern. After that week 8 loss, the Badgers went unranked for the rest of the season. The lowest point was a loss to Minnesota at Madison, meaning for the first time since 2003, Minnesota could claim "Paul Bunyan's Axe".

Meaningless Bowl Game: Pinstripe Bowl vs Miami. Wisconsin win 35-3.

Notable Players: (Jonathon Taylor, Michael Deiter, Jake Ferguson, Alex Hornibrook)

2019 Wisconsin Football While some may be tempted to group this with the Rose Bowl threepeat, this really belongs with the Meaningless Bowl Game section. The Rose Bowl lost its specialness after the introduction of the College Football Playoffs, and now just exist as a novelty consolation prize that the Badgers still can't win. A loss to Illinois early on derailed what could have been. That combined with a Big 10 championship game where the Badgers took an early lead and then blew it in the second half just shows how the names of players may change, but the Badgers will always be the Badgers.

Meaningless Bowl Game: The Rose Bowl vs #6 Oregon. Badgers lose a heartbreaker 27-28.

(Jonathon Taylor, Jack Coan, Quintez Cephus, Chris Orr)

2010-2012 Wisconsin Football aka The Threepeat

2010 - Wisconsin wins its first 4 games including a 20-19 thriller vs Arizona State Then in a matchup against Captain Kirk Cousin's #24 Michigan State The Badgers drop the game 24-34. Two weeks later Wisconsin faces QB Terrelle Pryor's #1 Ohio State Wisconsin scores 21 straight points in the first half and then James White iced the game with a 4th quarter touchdown run. Badgers beat a one seed for the first time since 1981 31-18. The Badgers go 11-1 tying with Michigan State for the Big 10 Championship, but since the Badgers were the higher seed, we got the automatic bid into the Rosebowl to face Andy "Red Rifle" Dalton's undefeated #3 TCU. In a close game throughout, it came down to Wisconsin not converting a two-point conversion on their fourth quarter touchdown. The badgers lose 19-21. Justin James Watt is drafted in the first round by the Texans, closing the college book on Wisconsin's best homegrown athlete.

Notable Players: (James White, Montee Ball, Lance Kendricks, John Clay, Scott Tolzein)

2011 - Our Lord and Savior Russell Wilson,

. Rejecting Baseball and NC State, the best QB in Wisconsin history was welcomed with open arms to the land of beer and cheese. The Badgers, led by the curly-haired cut-throat, start the season off with a 6 game win streak. Then another matchup with Kirk Cousins and Le'Veon Bell's Michigan State team. leading to...

I was listening to this game on the radio with my family. We were driving back from Milwaukee for some unknown reason. I was mad because I had already convinced myself the Badgers would go undefeated this year and I wanted to watch my beloved Cellibate Prince destroy the hated Spartans. All through my mind as Matt Lepay called the last play was "Hail Mary's never work, we are fine". This was well before Rodgers got me to a point where I expect every Hail Mary to work. The throw, the ball bouncing OFF A HELMET, and the catch. My dreams for perfection were dashed to stone. A week later Wisconsin faced unranked Ohio State lead by Braxton Miller. The Badgers are up three with 1:18 left. 11 year old me kept thinking "We aren't losing two games in a row". How young and foolish I was. The Buckeyes scored on a 40 yard touchdown pass leaving 20 seconds on the clock for Ciara's future husband. Three unsuccessful shots into the endzone, and the Badger lose 29-33. Badgers bounced back the next week, putting up 605 yards of total offense on Purdue, winning 62-17. Wisconsin wins the next three games to make it to the first ever Big 10 Championship game against... MICHIGAN STATE! In a shoutout of a game, the future 75th draft pick edged out the 4th draft pick. (Die-hard fans might remember that a 'Running into the Kicker' call iced the game for the Badgers) Wisconsin wins 42-39. This meant that for the second year in a row, Wisconsin was in the Rose Bowl. We went into against Chip Kell's 6th ranked Oregon Ducks. The Badgers went into the 4th quarter up three, and then proceeded to get stonewalled in the 4th. The Ducks went up 7 with 7 mins left in the game, which also happened to be the last score in the game. The 5'11" Flamethrower threw for 3,175 yards on 73% through the season, with Montee Ball falling 77 yards short of 2,000.

Notable Players: (Nick Toon, Jared Abbrederis, Montee Ball, James White, Melvin Gordan, Russell Wilson)

2012 - The year Bret Bielema was finally fired. This year was uglier than Bret Bielema in a two-piece. The Badgers started the year ranked 12th in the nation, but after a 7-10 loss in week two vs Oregon State the Badgers spent the rest of the year being unranked. Three weeks later we lost to No. 22 Nebraska, led by Taylor Martinez (The candidate for best QB name in a long time, Tommy Armstong Jr. was a freshman this year). after three straight wins, the Badgers dropped one against unranked Michigan State then two weeks later lost to Ohio State and then Penn State. You might be asking yourself how a 7-5 made a Rose Bowl? Well, the answer is this was back in the Legends and Leaders Divisions in the Big 10. This meant Ohio State, Penn State, and Wisconsin were in the same Division. Ohio St was 12-0 on the season, but due to an investigation a year prior about players selling memorabilia, and Head Coach Jim Tressel's coverup meant they were Bowl ineligible. As for Penn St., the Sandusky situation happened in November 2011. One of the punishments along with vacating wins was they were Bowl ineligible for the next four years. This meant the 7-5 Badgers would face off with No. 14 Nebraska in the Big 10 Championship. In Bret Bielema's last game as Wisconsin's coach, Melvin Gordan and Montee Ball both rushed for over 200 yards and Badger running backs accounted for 8 touchdowns in what can only be described as a 'Shucking Meltdown' for Nebraska. Three days after Wisconsin clinched its third straight Rose Bowl, Bielema (68-24 over 7 seasons) announced he would be taking the Arkansas head coaching job. This Meant "The Don", Barry Alvarez would lead the team as coach. In a rematch of the 2000 Rose Bowl (The last time Wisconsin won a Rose Bowl, of the back of Rose Bowl MVP Ron Dayne) Wisconsin faced 11-2 #8 Stanford. The hopes for this Wisconsin team were done all season, until the curb stomp of Nebraska. In typical Wisconsin sports fashion, the hopes of the fans had risen leading into a high stakes game. No way we lose three Rose Bowls in a row, especially not with Barry as the Captain. Whelp, after scoring 14 points in the second quarter, the Badgers never scored again. Turns out Curt Phillips was not our guy, who knew. Stanford wins 20-14.

Notable Players: (Melvin Gordan, Montee Ball, James White, The three-headed QB monster of Danny O'Brian, Curt Phillips, and Joel Stave)

2017 Wisconsin Football

I did not think it would hurt this much to write this article. This is like someone stabbed me over and over and over and then my immediate reaction is to jump into a pool of lemon juice because "It didn't hurt enough". Good thing all we have left is the most heartbreaking year. If you need to take a pause, meditate, throw a plate at a wall, start a *small* house fire, now is the time.

2017 - Alright, here we go. This was this first year of one of the best-recruiting classes at UW Madison (Jonathon Taylor, Brad Davison, and James Schaser). Much like 2018 modeled itself after the disappointing end of my Madison college career, 2017 modeled itself after my very promising start. Three blowouts in nonconference meant the #9 Badgers climbed all the way up to... #10??? The AP works in mysterious ways. Finally, FINALLY, the Badgers finally broke the Trap Game cycle. 9 straight wins through conference play, including wins over ranked Iowa and Michigan. This led to a Big 10 Championship game against hated rival #8 Ohio State If the Badgers win this game, we are in the College Football Playoffs for the first time ever. Urban Meyer goes into this game 4-0 against Wisconsin and comes out 5-0. Alex Hornibrook, who had been great, ok good, ok decent, decided to have a terrible game. Horni-4-Heisman went 19-40 for 229 yards, 2 interceptions, and zero touchdowns. Meanwhile, Jonathon Taylor also decided to have a bad game going for 41 yards on 15 carries. With that, the Badgers playoff hopes crumbled after finally putting themselves ina position to make it after not losing to a weird team early in the season.

Meaningless Bowl Game: Orange Bowl vs #11 Miami. Badgers win 34-24.

Notable Players: (Jonathon Taylor, Alex Hornibrook, Andrew Van Ginkel, Rafael Gaglianone, Michael Deiter)

All in all, this article sucked to write. Re-living games I can remember vividly. Researching scores and individual games for hours on end. The good news is it is over. The bad news is, my UW Basketball article is already in the works. If you need me, I'll be crying rewatching the 2015 Wisconsin-Kentucky Final Four game.

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