PATRON SAINTS: NEWLY ANOINTED CLASS

I wanted to try and not induct a new class too soon, but February has just been a slog here for Wisconsin sports topics. So, I've decided to canonize a few more Wisconsin Athletes and add them to our list of saints. Before we dive into our new class, lets refresh our memories with the list of those already canonized- and if you didn't read my initial creation of this class, or want to hear my reasons for any of the following, you can find it here.

Patron Saint of Utility: Hernan Perez

Patron Saint of Gravity: Darvin Ham

Patron Saint of Pot Lucks: Eddie Lacy

Patron Saint of Confidence: Brandon Jennings

Patron Saint of the Transfer Portal: Russell Wilson

Patron Saint of Blue Collars: Jake Kumerow

Patron Saint of Buckets: Markus Howard

Patron Saint of Plushdamentals: Nyjer Morgan

Patron Saint of Leadership: Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila

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Patron Saint of the Stretch 4: Keaton Nankivil

While I wouldn't consider myself inherently a Wisconsin Badgers basketball fan, I did watch them a lot in my youth because I lived in Wisconsin. There was one player who stuck out in my mind more than anyone else. Keaton Nankivil. This guy was the original stretch four. I remember being so amazed with him because he was a forward who was hitting threes at a ridiculous rate. His senior year he shot 45.7% from deep on 3.8 attempts per game. He somehow was only averaging 9.7 points per game. Nankivil should have been just launching threes the entire game, but alas, he played his role in the offense and we can only imagine what could have been. Still, for me, he was a pioneer in a brand of basketball that would soon be the key to success in this generation of basketball.

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Patron Saint of Collisions: Ersan Ilyasova

In his first stint with the Bucks, Ilyasova was a solid player on some awful Bucks teams pouring in around 12 ppg and 7 rpg. The other notable thing about him is that he was one of two Bucks players you could find jerseys of. Literally any store that sold any Bucks apparel had Ilyasova jerseys, Brandon Jennings jerseys, and few generic t-shirts. Upon leaving, Ilyasova always found a spot on teams as a reliable bench piece who could space the floor, rebound fairly well, and run the offense. Ilyasova was nothing special, but a good complement. With all his average attributes, there is one thing Ersan is exceptionally good at: taking charges. In 2018, Alex Boeder, who writes about the Bucks, found that Ersan had taken 464 fouls. In the past 10 years, he has not once been outside the top 10 in charges drawn each year. He is great at being annoyingly pesky and waiting for you to run into him and turn it over. In the 2018-2019 season, Ersan drew 57 charges and you bet there's a montage of all of them. If there's ever a collision in basketball, you know one man is walking away after causing a turnover. (Also let the record reflect Ersan is a million times better at this than Brad Davison who I do not endorse)

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Patron Saint of Terminal Velocity: Todd Coffey

Everyone always talks about how baseball players aren't athletes, and I would tend to agree that there is some truth to that. Obviously they are impressive athletes, they just generally require a more refined skill set than across the board athleticism, especially when compared with basketball or football players. However, from 2008-2010, Milwaukee Brewers fans were treated to an elite display of athleticism from reliever Todd Coffey whenever he entered.

Just an incredible display of speed from Coffey here. Coffey started the routine in Double-A with the Reds. He says he had so much adrenaline when he first went in that he sprinted without realizing it, and liked how he felt afterwards. He said it helped get his legs loose and come down from the adrenaline high. The routine was loved by fans, with the Brewers even timing his sprints. All in all, Coffey was a decent pitcher with one really good year where he threw 83.2 innings with a 2.90 ERA and a 1.16 WHIP.

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Those are the only additions I'm making now. I'm trying to pace myself so we can keep adding and keep our standards high. As far as I'm concerned, the Sainthood of Wisconsin Athletics is an elite club athletes should strive for and maintain the status as being selective with our members. We can't be too loosy goosy, or as Jon would say "loosy gray-ducky", with allowing people to become canonized. Let me know if you have any suggestions for athletes for canonization consideration and I can evaluate whether they meet said sainthood material.